Where did the time go?
There is so much to say. I think about writing often. I dream about it, "write" (usually out loud) when I'm walking, when I am in a meeting, even when I am at my spin class gasping for breath. Turns out, however, it takes time to actually write; open ended time. Right now, I don't have a whole lot of that special type of hanging out with the words time, so I am working on having two days a week where I squeeze a little more of the stated above necessary and desired time out for writing.
We are a culture who gives lee way and permission to those who say, who use, "I don't have time" as their reason, their excuse, the cause. What happened to that time, anyway? For those with kids, a job (or two), a few friends and a desire to sweat at least once a week, it's tough to find the time to get involved in the things we like, we miss, that feed us. But what about those of us who like to watch television, who hang at the bar, who work too long hours because 'time management' isn't a skill? Is time like money that way? Can't keep track, don't keep track, so there's never enough?
Today I will have five minutes to deal with a work issue that believes it deserves at least a half of day of my time. How will this go? Do I 'rob peter to pay paul'? Do I ask the urgent to wait? Do I give some of my time, the time I use to walk to work or get my notes done before leaving for Santa Cruz, to the cause? How much time do I allow it to take up in my head, this urgency that is fueled by a small glitch in the work flow that has been asked to carry years and decades of hurt on it's little back?
People like to talk. Have you ever noticed how hurt people, people with broken hearts, like to talk more than the subject seems to be able to bare? The broken heart goes to work in the person who gets bent about the way the paper clips get put away and then meets the broken heart of the person who tries to do everything right. And then what? Urgency. Scarcity. A meeting.
Whatever it is, however it pans out, it will take time.
This I know.
I have found a solution: get up earlier, go to bed earlier. I find too that the impulse to write feeds itself. The more I do it, the more I do it. The more I do it, the more I want it, like wanting a lover. But I'm not teaching every day right now, so it's has more room; I have more room. Even 5 minutes a day and so you post only a couple of times a week? Just a thought, friend. xo, P.
ReplyDeleteP. Well, as it is, I get up around 5 each weekday morning and try to get to bed around 8:30 each night. With winter coming and a fire to make at each end of the day, and pretty soon a fair amount of snow shoveling and snow management, I'll have more to do in my routine. I think what I need to do is remove the pressure of posting everyday and, instead, write a little each day and then post a couple of times a week instead. The goal is to write more, out loud. So, we shall see, as I am prone to say.
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