Listen.

How would you describe how you listen? When someone is telling you a story about their life, do you notice your own inner dialogue? Let's say you are at the grocery store buying some bread, tomatoes and two bananas and you run into a friend, one who is going through a divorce, you have time, or at least more than usual, so what do you do? How do you listen to him? Do you offer advice, condolences, empathy? What's going on in your head while he's talking? Are you thinking about your empty stomach and feeling the bananas in your hand? Are you able to track your own inner dialogue and do you realize that it's been the same for the last six conversations, the one that is impatient, thinks people are make too much of stuff? Or are you anxious and wishing he'd stop talking because it leads you into your own worry about your own marriage?

Lots has been said about the art of listening. Still, take some time today and listen to yourself when someone is talking. Are you there? What are your distractions? What is your story?

I can tell you, today I will be intent when listening to the kid who is trying to keep sober; I'll be distracted when my co-worker rants about some thing at work that she doesn't like; I'll realize I wasn't paying good enough attention when the postal worker calls me, "hon" and hands me my package; I'll hear myself rattle on about whatever anxiety has me a little off balance these days. I'll hear myself play up the wetness of the wood that I've yet to stack, and watch myself try to navigate my tardiness in sending my niece her birthday present. Sometime during the day, these two concerns will enter my thoughts when someone else has my ear and I'll wonder if I am drifting or if somehow my little anxieties are cuing me about something they are talking about.

Right now I am telling myself to get on with my morning routine so the dogs get a good walk and maybe I will have time for a second cup of tea. I'm thinking about the piece I'm working on, the one about confidentiality and overlap, while I'm writing this one. I'm wondering how much it rained last night, I'm grateful my ability to sleep well has returned, amazed at how dark it is outside. I'm worrying about the homeless folks who are still believing they can manage a life here in the winter. I'm knowing they are thinking that this, the rain and temps in the high 30's, is doable and I'm imagining how I might try to convince them otherwise, and notice that they are distracted by their desire to be right and can't hear a word I'm saying.

What are you thinking about right now? Is it a theme, a singular thought, a cue? Are you amazed at how much is happening in your mind when you are focused on something else? I, for one, plan to listen really well today. Not so that I feel better, but so the ones who are speaking to me might feel noticed. That's my goal for today.

We'll see how it goes.